Love

This post has been pending in my mind for a while now and I have finally disciplined myself to get to the blog to write it down to help me think it through. And I can't find the word I want for the title that expresses just what I am trying to convey, but never mind!

The thought first came to me when my little girl (that I look after, not actually my little girl!) had just woken up from her nap and it was cuddle time. God gave me one of those 'click' moments of insight to his perspective. Now when she's not sleepy she's not that cuddly so I really treasure the few minutes I get of sitting down and having her just chill there. She's not distracted by her toys, she's not trying to get something out of me or wind up her brother. She is content and she trusts me.

It feels like a huge privilege to me to have these times with her even though she's not even my daughter. To feel that closeness with another being when she is completely relaxed in my arms, just being. To me it is a glimpse of what it must be like to be a parent. The love I feel for her at those moments must be a drop in the ocean compared to how it feels to nurture your own child and have her (or him) depend on you and completely trust you to be what she needs. She is so vulnerable at those times and it is in my arms that she chooses to rest and be content.

Despite my years of caring for children, I have never had one of my own, and moments like this remind me that what I do now is just a shadow of what I have been made to do (or at least to be able to do - who knows whether I ever will!). But it also gives me insight into the parent-child relationship that is often used to describe God's relationship to us. I have always assented to the idea in my head and thought I understood it, understanding what I feel for my own mother, but this moment made me consider what it is like to be on the other side.

Of course an earthly parent's understanding of how they love their child is still only a glimpse of how God loves us and I only have a glimpse of those parenty feelings but if I can feel like that for one split second, truly delighting in this child and her contentedness and trust in me, oh how much more beyond my wildest imagination must my Lord and Saviour, Abba Father, love me.

Not only that, but how he must yearn for me to come to him, to lean on him, to be content just resting with him, to trust him in my most vulnerable moments to be my source. I look forward to those moments while my little girl is asleep and while she is running around doing things all day and now each time I am reminded to give my Maker, Shelter and Comforter more of those beautiful moments.

And I thank him and praise him for giving us these pictures and then in his time breathing life and understanding into them to open our eyes anew to him.