My friend's little nugget of information (see previous post: another-quick-thought-on-wisdom) also put my mind at rest about another worry I have had, of being concerned when I use certain words or phrases or advice that can easily sound like jargon and empty words. I have a strong reaction to Christianese, jargon and lightly-used words, due in large part to some of my past. I don't like hearing them from others unless I know that person well and know they understand and mean what they are talking about. So I definitely don't like to use them on other people; I prefer to find a way of explaining what I mean in meaningful words rather than using words that people have become almost immune to (eg. blessing, hope, peace, wisdom).
But once I have been through one of those moments where a layer of understanding is revealed, sometimes those words/phrases/pieces of advice take on a new (or rather, their actual) meaning and seem the best and most succinct way of expressing something and then I am presented with a dilemma. Use the word or not? I used to almost invariably stick with explaining my way around it, but through this little revelation of my friend, I have realised that even though someone may not understand now, they might get what I truly mean at some point. I still prefer to explain, because I don't want to end up using the words lightly, and I want to make people really think about what I'm saying and what it means rather than just hearing a well-used word and thinking they understand what it entails, but it's OK to use the words for the concepts I now understand (a bit more - sure there is plenty more to learn!) sometimes too.
Thursday, 16 January 2014
Another quick thought on wisdom
I was talking to a very good friend the other day about my frustration with having to spend so long growing in wisdom. How I can see how good Z looks when right now I am at A or B or C and I want a shortcut that doesn't involve D, E, F and particularly Q. Q is something I really want to avoid. But I might just have to go through it to get to Z.
In my previous post (seeking-wisdom-with-humility) I commented that perhaps being wise was being able to take advice and use others' experience to help make good decisions and this was another thing I was discussing with this friend: how frustrating it is that sometimes I have had advice or a wise word from somebody and have spent time seeking to make sure I take the advice so I don't have to look back in retrospect and only then understand, and yet I still end up looking back in retrospect and only then understanding.
She said something very wise and valuable to me. Sometimes it is only because somebody has previously said it to us that we recognise it when it does come round. I had got so involved in wanting wisdom and wanting it now that I was at risk of devaluing the journey. I need to seek, listen to and heed people's wise words and advice, but I will most likely still have to go through H, K, S and even W because they are needed to shape me as a person.
And I think that is what will then make me able to pass on wise words to others as I get older: the fact that I have been through this things and learned from experience, rather than that somebody once told me this and it seemed to work. Somebody told me this, and I thought it made sense, then I had to use it and found out it really does work. Only this second path of experience will hold enough weight to persuade the next person along the line that the idea is worth considering, and for them to then remember and apply it at the appropriate moment in their life.
In my previous post (seeking-wisdom-with-humility) I commented that perhaps being wise was being able to take advice and use others' experience to help make good decisions and this was another thing I was discussing with this friend: how frustrating it is that sometimes I have had advice or a wise word from somebody and have spent time seeking to make sure I take the advice so I don't have to look back in retrospect and only then understand, and yet I still end up looking back in retrospect and only then understanding.
She said something very wise and valuable to me. Sometimes it is only because somebody has previously said it to us that we recognise it when it does come round. I had got so involved in wanting wisdom and wanting it now that I was at risk of devaluing the journey. I need to seek, listen to and heed people's wise words and advice, but I will most likely still have to go through H, K, S and even W because they are needed to shape me as a person.
And I think that is what will then make me able to pass on wise words to others as I get older: the fact that I have been through this things and learned from experience, rather than that somebody once told me this and it seemed to work. Somebody told me this, and I thought it made sense, then I had to use it and found out it really does work. Only this second path of experience will hold enough weight to persuade the next person along the line that the idea is worth considering, and for them to then remember and apply it at the appropriate moment in their life.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)